Friday, December 31, 2010

Baba Booey Made the Foo

(my friend "Chainsaw" would say:)
The year was 1997.
Rock music was not doing well.

The Foo Fighters were performing
live on the Howard Stern Show.

As the performance begins,
Stern asks Dave Grohl which
song he will be playing.

Dave responds: For All the Cows.
For All the Cows is a mellow rock
song from the first Foo album that
eventually rocks out heavily.

Stern replies: Play one of your hits.

Baba Booey interjects: Play Everlong.

This was the moment that made
the Foo Fighters a bit more than,
"that band with Nirvana's drummer."

That moment of serenity, with a guy
and a guitar... was almost magical.

Howard Stern got goose bumps.

Adam Sandler used a cleaned-up
(no talking before/during) version of this
very live Everlong performance for his
film (that nobody saw), Little Nicky.

It was the reason everyone wanted
to hear acoustic versions of each
popular Foo Fighters song
from then on...

...but it was never the same.

Monday, December 13, 2010

A Walk in the Park

I went to the dog park with my parents.
We were walking through the woods,
and it let out into this dog paradise.

Suddenly it dawned on me...
People are really out of shape.

They drive their SUVs to the park;
their dogs run laps around them,
free and excited to be loose...

The people stand and watch.

Someone needs to take them
to the nearest "People Park."

There they can run and play
and get some much-needed
cardiovascular exercise...

Last night I had a race with
a pit-bull named Angel.

(my friend Rebecca's rescued dog)

We ran down the beach together,
much like Rocky and Apollo.
I beat her to the finish,
but she beat me back.

It felt nice.
I think she enjoyed it too.
She looked quite happy.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sessme Fighters...

Today I was listening to
some old recordings I've done.
Namely, my "mantra"...

Then I stumbled on a parody of
the Foo Fighters' "The Pretender"
that I animated when it came out
back in 2008.  It reminded me
so much of the Sesame Street
song, "One of These Things
is Not Like the Others,"
that I just had to...

Here is the original video for
the Foo Fighters' song:

...and my version (sync them up!):

Let me know what you think.
Have a nice day.
- John

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Last night I had a few drinks.
(no surprise there)

Whilst driving home, I spotted
a McDonalds and thought,
"damn, it's been a while,
I should stop there."

Then I made a deal with myself.
'Self,' says I, 'you will not go there
tonight, but you can have it for
lunch tomorrow if you still
feel like you desire it.'

... a pretty solid logic for somone
with a solid buzz going.
I give myself credit.

So today, I stopped there for lunch.
What a terrible idea that was.

McDonalds is only good at 2:30am
when you're drunk enough not to
realize exactly how shitty the
food you're putting into
your mouth really is.

Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.

Ok, I'm back.
Where was I?
Ah yes.

The Evil Empire.

McDonalds is such garbage,
you need to be severely intoxicated
not to realize the nutritional value
of your consumption is equal to
that of not eating a meal at all.
In fact, it's worse.

Not only is there nothing worth
eating at this place, what 
they do have is really
terrible for the body.

Why are these place so popular?!
Oh right... it's cheap and quick.

Damn, convenience... you win again.
(next time I eat it, I'll be wasted)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Notes on Love...

My friend Kendra posted a blog about
a friend of hers that finds and loses a man
in a period of 48 hours of a weekend.

It upsets me that the lady-folk
have certain expectations
and don't tell us
what they

This is how I handle the situation:

...every time I meet a girl I like,
I call her immediately after we part from each other,

just to make sure she get's home alright. 

Then I poke her on Facebook when I get to my place.

A simple smile ": )" text right before I go to sleep

let's her know I'm dreaming of her and only her...

The next day I cook breakfast and wait outside her apartment.

She's a vegetarian, so I use tofu bacon and soy milk.

I found out on her blog that she usually wakes up

around 8am, and goes for a jog around the park.

My running shorts are tight, but it's all worth it...

After she says, "what the hell are you doing here?"

I decide to eat breakfast alone.

She's not a morning person.

The rest of the day I think of the way her hair looks

right after she gets out of the shower, before she

blow-dries it and puts on jeans and a t-shirt to walk

her adorable little Chihuahua-doodle, Mr. Fluffypants.

I call her once an hour and leave voicemails,

just to let her know that I am thinking of her.

She texts me, "i have a bf"

but I know she doesn't...

She's just playing it cool.

That night I see that her friend Kristen

posted on her Facebook wall that they're

going to a bar downtown. How subtle.

She hasn't called back or responded to my

multiple texts, but I know she wants me to

show up at the bar that she's going to...

I hang in the back and watch her and her friends

hit on guys for a few hours, in an obvious attempt

to make me jealous, but it doesn't work,

I know that she's thinking only of me.

Finally I walk up behind her while she gets a drink,

and whisper in her ear, "hello, my love"...
She turns around and lets out a scream (of excitement!),

then says, "what the hell are you doing here?"

How cute, pretending to be surprised...

I hand her the portrait of us in the nude

that I stayed up the whole night before painting.

She likes it so much that she's speechless.
She goes back to the table with her friends,

and I hail a cab... another great night!

Damn, I'm smooth.

 : )

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Natural Born Killers

So... Mickey and Mallory are back.
Check this out, true story.

There is currently a fugitive on the loose.
A few days ago, a woman threw wire cutters
into a private prison facility, where her husband,
and two other inmates cut the fence and escaped.

Is this a prison, or a gated community?

Why (or how) is it possible to:
a) get wire cutters
b) cut the gate!?

So three inmates and this insane woman were on the run.
Two of the inmates were "captured" and we learn that
the man and woman are fiancées and cousins.
(you can't make this shit up)

They interviewed the man's stepfather (why?!),
and he explained that, "they think they're 
Bonnie and Clyde, but they're not."

Whew.  I thought fictional characters were real.

If these two idiots could be any fictional fugitives,
I'd want them to be Mickey and Mallory from
Natural Born Killers.  Those two were cool.
Start a trend.  Inspire people to be free.

and Denis Leary involved.

Where's Rodney Dangerfield when you need him?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Scan my Pocket

So, a friend of mine recently told me
that there's a new scam out there
where a criminal can scan
your credit cards by
brushing against
your back

Perhaps that's what you get for being lazy.
Is it too hard to have to swipe the thing?
You just want to hold your card up to
the gas pump or that thing at the
supermarket checkout line...

...well, that's what you get.

I told my friend not to worry about being a victim.
They're probably only targeting people who 
look like they've got lots of money.

Isn't it bad enough that the 
credit cards are ripping us off?
Charging ridiculous interest rates, and subsequently
putting people into permanent dept for 
spending money they don't have...
(isn't that what the banks did?!)

Why should we be held to a standard 
that the federal government isn't held to?
What is our national dept at this point?

Are there any bill collectors knocking
on the front door of the white house?
(perhaps one day there will be)

Hopefully by then I'll know
how to speak Chinese anyhow.

Either way, I'll take the extra two seconds

 - John

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Let's Recap...


They put a cap on the leak.
They've sealed off the oil that's
been gushing out of the Earth's core
for nearly three months now.

It really begs the question:
Why didn't they have this cap 3 months ago?

Hey, I've got an idea...
How about, when you drill in the ocean,
let's plan that something might go wrong
and have a cap standing by just in case.

It's not rocket science... it's plumbing.
Why wasn't this the first idea that came to mind?
"Well, we've got a cap, but let's let it gush for a bit."
Wake up, oil industry... and put a lid on it.

- John

Friday, July 2, 2010

My Gripe with Off-Shore "Spilling"

They keep calling it a “spill.”
My definition of a spill is when I have
something contained, and the substance
gets out of my container. Exxon was a spill.
There was only so much oil in that tanker…
then it was in the water. It spilled.

What is happening here is more of a… leak.
(see interactive graphic here)

I compare it to a keg being tapped,
…and something goes wrong with
the tap. Now there’s beer flowing
all of the damn place.

…but this is not beer, it’s crude oil.
(and it's not a keg, it's the earth...)

Then I hear they’re measuring the amount
pouring out of this “leak” in barrels…
Has anyone filled a barrel lately?

There’s no way to accurately measure
how much is leaking because there’s
no way to bottle the freakin’ ocean.

This is the worst case human-caused
environmental devastation since
our forefathers dropped the bomb.

* Special thanks to Ryan Doyle for
posting the blog that inspired this
spill vs. leak discussion...

Friday, June 4, 2010


So, I've been living in Florida
since January and already people
are wondering why I'm not doing
Standup Comedy every weekend...

I've (only) done three shows
since I've been down here.

Just because I'm more selective with
where and when I will be performing ($)
does not mean that my creative juices (eww)
aren't flowing just as strongly as they ever did.

...there is a new "Music" page to my website!

I've been jamming again,
and working on websites, designs,
and some more animation for all you
lovers of the Monkeys Testing Condoms!

I'm not just lying dormant
on the side of a river
wondering why
comedy in

So don't fret.
Comedy is what I do.
It takes on many forms.
...but I will never stop attempting
to make people laugh at me.

Thank you.
- John

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Google 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Easter Egg!


So... for Pac-Man's 30th Anniversary,
Google decided to allow visitors to
play this classic game on their home page.

Many people enjoyed this yesterday,
but I'm not sure if they found the Easter Egg.

If you hit "insert coin" the game begins.
When you hit it AGAIN Ms. Pac-Man
shows up, and you can play the game
with two players simultaniously!

Using "WASD" you can control
Ms. Pac-Man while your friend
controls Pac-Man with the arrows.

Thanks Google.
... pretty cool.

- John Powers

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Shameless Plug

So, I'm doing a show this friday.
It's in Cocoa Beach, off A1A.

Duncan Jay is producing it.
It should be a great show.

Stop by.
Laugh a bit.

Also, a reminder that "Shiti Field" T-Shirts
are still available for you to proudly wear
to a baseball game in boycot of corporate
sponsors who can't pay for their own
name on the stadium of a pro team.


That is all.
... as you were.