Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Twitter Feud: Al Roker


Al Roker is not the friendly 
weatherman everyone thinks he is.
The following is an exchange 
we had on twitter.

This is the real Al Roker.
He is really a jerk. 


I was trying to get some show dates,
and he responded by 
calling me a beggar.

New York City comics Steve Loftus and Joey Gay immediately came to my defense, as did Australian comedian Liam McCann.

Even the owner of Stand Up New York 
comedy club, Dani Zoldan chimed in.


If nobody books me, 
I don't get paid. 

He responds by calling me a hack.


The owner of Stand Up New York 
got very interested.

At one point he suggested 
we have a rap battle at his club.

After all the insults seemed over... 
Roker called me fat.


Not only did he insult me, he took jabs 
at standup comedy in general. 

Comedy is a sacred art and comics 
take this art very seriously. 

The world needs to know what 
a jerk this guy is.

 - John Powers



© 2013 - All rights reserved








Monday, February 25, 2013

Clerks 3 featuring... YOU?

Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks 2... Clerks 3?

Kevin Smith has decided to go grass-roots once again. The writer/director best know for his Jay & Silent Bob films got his big break by maxing out credits cards for the original Clerks and has decided to use social networking to help cast what could be his final film, Clerks III.

Smith is a social media guru and has decided to give back to his supporters in an interesting way. Anyone that retweets #ClerksCast to @ThatKevinSmith will be given a background cameo appearance in the new film. The production is a long way off and still awaiting the thumbs up from original co-star Jeff Anderson (Randall) but this news is an interesting twist for anyone who ever wanted to be involved with a Kevin Smith movie or smoke a blunt alongside Jay and Silent Bob.

Clerks was a dialogue-heavy reflection of the life and times of two 20-somethings in the early 1990's. Clerks 2, the sequel to the original featured Dante and Randall in their 30's, and this final film will reportedly feature the two in their 40's.




Monday, February 11, 2013

#LesserFilms

HCompiled this list of #LesserFilms that would not have been 
as popular as the film that we saw in theaters...

#Lesserfilms

The Day Before Tomorrow
The Mediocre Gatsby
The Ending Story
The Two Stooges
Humming in the Rain
Nemo is Not Lost
Star Peace - The Jedi Never Left
Low-Pulp Fiction
Arrive with the Wind
Citizen's Cane
Beauty & the Unattractive Man
The Ranger with a Companion
Sailors of the Caribbean
Edward Normalhands
Bridesfriends
Monsters Kindergarten
The Munchkin of Oz
Lord of the Ring Fingers
2002 - Space Normalcy
Not Very Loud and Kinda Far Away
The Noise of the Lambs
The Glowing
Schindler's Pad and Pen
Raiders of Noah's Ark
Near the Waterfront
Moulin Eyeshadow
Mr. Smith Stays Away from Washington
Miracle on 33rd Street
My Moderately Average-Sized Mediterranean Culture-Influenced Wedding
Malcolm IX
Inherit the Breeze
White Men Can't Walk
Moderate Expectations
From Here Till Sometime that Won't Last Forever
Sex & the Suburbs
Normal-Temperature Runnings
OT - The On-Terrestrial
Ocean's 10
Unclean Harry
The Dirty 11
The Day the Earth Kept Revolving
Field of Brief Unconsciousness
That Guy Without a Title from Monte Cristo
The Fiddler on the Balcony
Cat on a Warm, Aluminum Roof
The Brunch Club
Boogie Evenings
Ben-Him
Living in the Present Time Without a DeLorean
Apollo 10
Les Happiebles
The King and Someone Other Than Me
The Good, the Bad, and the Not Attractive
Normalbad
The 39-Year-Old Virgin
The Pleasant Dream Before Christmas
Mr. Popper's Unhatched Eggs
The Girl with the Meaningless and Unintimidating Tattoo
Home with Other People Present
That Time We Left Pelham 1, 2, 3 Alone
A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Tri-State Area
The Man Who Knew Just Enough
Meet the Extended Family
Off-the-Record Conversation with a Vampire
Sweeney Todd: The Friendly Barber on Fleet Street
Meaningless Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
40 Days and 39 Nights
There's Nothing Special About Mary
How to Lose a Guy in 11 Days
Jack and the Bean
Me, Myself and Nobody Else
Jay & Silent Bob on Strike
Mall Occasional Visitors
Convenience Store Applicants
Casually Pursuing Amy
Half-Marathon Man
An American Werewolf in... America
I Don't Know What You Did Last Summer
Little Shop of Plants that don't eat Steve Martin
Honey, The Kids Are of Normal Proportion
The Mummy Considers Returning, but Decides Not To
Fetuses of the Corn
Girlfriend of Frankenstein
House of 999 Corpses
Injure Bill
From Dusk Till About an Hour Later
Shallow Blue Sea
Saw: 2D
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Madeout with Me
... Normal Activity
Terminator 2: Non-Judgemental Day
Shaun of the Living
Second-to-last Destination
Dracu-meh
The Cabin in Noplace Scary
Willy Wonka and the Pillow Factory
Lincoln: Vampire Hurter
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Serenity
The Dark Kmorning
Lord of Cat Town
American Pastry
Friday the 12th
Lunch at Bernie's
One Flew Over the Sparrow's Nest
Forrest Chump
House on the Hill That's Not Haunted








Friday, January 25, 2013

#ReplaceSongTitlesWithVagina

I love sexual puns. This hashtag allowed my mind to think of some really good ones. In no particular order, here's a bunch of tweets on this hashtag...

#ReplaceSongTitlesWithVagina
(see if you can guess what song/band it is, and feel free to add your own below!)

Smells Like Teen Vagina
Heart-Shaped Vagina
Come as Vagina Are
Where Did Vagina Sleep Last Night
Something in the Vagina
Scentless Vagina
Bohemian Vagina
Another One Bites the Vagina
Vagina Will Rock You
Semi-Charmed Vagina
Motorcycle Drive-Vagina
Deep Inside of Vagina
Hey There Vagina
Gimme Some Vagina
Vagina Police
Fairytale of New Vagina
Stairway to Vagina
Your Vagina is Gonna Come
Immigrant Vagina
Over the Vagina and Far Away
Fool in the Vagina
Good Times, Bad Vagina
When the Vagina Breaks
The Vagina Remains the Same
Whole Lotta Vagina
Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Vagina
Wicked Vagina
Where the Vagina Goes
Wet My Vagina
Lady, Your Vagina Brings Me Down
Big Vagina Baby
Lady Vagina Show
Vagina Can't Change Me
Seeking a Vagina for the End of the World
Good Riddance (Vagina of Your Life)
When Vagina Come Around
Bitter Sweet Vagina
Vagina on Parade
Sleep Now in the Vagina
Vaginas of Funk
Take the Vagina Back
Calm Like a Vagina
Killing in the Vagina of
Vagina of the Sun
Molly (Sixteen Vaginas)
Oh! You Pretty Vagina
I'm Afraid of Vaginas
Vagina Stardust
The Man Who Sold the Vagina
Champagne Vagina
Don't Look Back in Vagina
With Vagina Wide Open
Six Feet from the Vagina
What's this Vagina For?
Wynonna's Big Brown Vagina
My Vagina is Mud
Black Hole Vagina
Burden in My Vagina
Blow Up the Outside Vagina
Show Me the Vagina
Baby, I Love Your Vagina
Vagina Like a Hole
The Perfect Vagina
Every Vagina is Exactly the Same
The Vagina That Feeds
March of the Vagina
Old Time Rock n' Vagina
Turn the Vagina
Enter Vagina
Blue Suede Vagina
Only Fools Rush Vagina
Hound Vagina
Unchained Vagina
I Wanna Rock n' Vagina All Night
Vagina State of Mind
Scenes From an Italian Vagina
Hot For Vagina
Crash Into Vagina
Don't Drink the Vagina
Vagina Marching
What Would Vag
Three Little Vaginas
Trenchtown Vagina
Could Vagina be Loved?
If I Had a Million Vaginas
Total Eclipse of the Vagina
Fight for Your Right to Vagina
Pour Some Vagina on Me
(I Can't Get No) Vagina
I Wanna Hold Your Vagina
The Long and Winding Vagina
A Day in the Vagina
Strawberry Vagina Forever
While My Vagina Gently Weeps
Something in the Vagina
Here Comes the Vagina
Hard Vagina Night
Can't Buy Me Vagina
Fixing a Vagina
All Vaginas Must Pass
I've Just Seen a Vagina
You've Got to Hide Your Vagina Away
8 Vaginas a Week
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Vagina
I Get Vagina with a Little Help from my Friends
All You Need is Vagina
I've Just Seen a Vagina
Mean Vagina Mustard
Please, Please Vagina
You've Lost That Lovin' Vagina
Another Brick in the Vagina
Another Vagina in the Wall pt. 2
Dark Side of the Vagina
Comfortably Vagina
Wish Vagina Were Here
One Man Vagina
Superman's Vagina
Gangnam Vagina
We Won't Get Vagina Again
Vagina, Reign O'er Me
The Vaginas Are Alright
Papa's Got a Brand New Vagina
Dude, Looks Like a Vagina
Walk This Vagina
Livin' on the Vagina
Sweet Vagina
Dream Vagina
Vagina in an Elevator
Sweet Vagina O' Mine
All Along the Vagina
No Woman, No Vagina
Trenchtown Vagina
Three Little Vaginas
Could You be Vagina?
Blowin' in the Vagina
Losing My Vagina
Vagina Hurts
What's the Vagina, Kenneth?
Where is my Vagina?
Here Comes Your Vagina
The End is the Beginning is the Vagina
I Would Do Anything for Vagina
Vagina by the Dashboard Lights
Two Out of Three Ain't Vagina
Vagina on the Run
No More Lonely Vagina
Silly Vagina Songs
Hotel Vagina
Peaceful Easy Vagina
Take Vagina Easy
Vagina That I Used to Know
Under the Vagina
Give Vagina Away
Suck My Vagina
Me and My Vagina
Elderly Vagina Behind the Counter in a Small Town

Friday, December 14, 2012

New Hashtag... #TooSoon

So... I thought I'd made some jokes to offend people.
#TooSoon ...here they are:


Tonight I'm gonna wear a John Wilkes-Booth costume to see Lincoln.
I think I'm gonna do some blow with Whitney Houston and Billy Mays...

about the Mets giving David Wright an extension... they're still going to suck.
Tonight I'm gonna dress up as and beat the crap out of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.
I'm gonna hire a bunch of actors to portray paparazzi and chase the prince of England's new wife around.

Tonight I'm gonna dress like a spider and scare the crap out of ?
it's been one week since and my life is greatly improved as a result. Best album ever.
Tonight I'm gonna dress like and fly my plane through a flock of birds and then into the Hudson.
Tomorrow I'm going to dress like Aaliyah and go for a flight in a small plane.
Tonight I'm gonna dress as Burgess Meredith and inspire to do things that concern boxing.
Tonight I'm taking to a boxing match.