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| Comic John Powers with Jared, the Subway Guy |
Subway has long stood behind the catchphrase "Eat Fresh," suggesting that they provide fresh ingredients and a healthier alternative to the Big Mac, the Whopper and Taco Bell mystery meat. They even teamed up with Olympian Michael Phelps in an attempt to appeal to athletes and stoners alike.
Some people were shocked to find that the bread at subway actually contains the same ingredients as a yoga mat. Kristen Delfonte of Brooklyn said, "I can't believe it. The bread always smells so fake and rubbery when I walk past the store. It's just a complete shock to find out there's azodicarbonamide in there."
Robert Erlens was astounded to learn that adding Chipotle Mayo adds 500 calories. "I was astounded to learn that adding Chipotle Mayo adds 500 calories. They say it's less calories than other fast food joints... yeah, if you order a plain 6-inch with no cheese! Who does that?! When I order a foot-long sub, I want it to have the works! I'm talking double-meat, double cheese, and a bunch of soggy peppers and pickles and stuff!"
A woman in line who asked not to be identified ordered a 6-inch Italian. Right after she said that, Jared tapped her on the shoulder and winked. When we caught up with him after the incident he replied, "It's actually 4 and a half inches."
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| The Yoga Mat Sandwich™ at Subway No matter how big it is, people are not happy that Subway bread is not simply made of yeast and flour. The chemicals and additives in our fast food may keep it fresh longer, bake the bread higher, or make the french fries tastier, but we no longer care about any of that. Gone are the days when the consumer will blindly gobble whatever is available in a 2-mile radius of their office. We demand more than artificial rubber yoga mat bread. We want a healthy sandwich, prepared fresh, with real ingredients. |
it's going to be ironic, sad and funny all at the same time when Jared is said to have cancer cause all he ate was yoga mat bread, I've eaten some yoga mat bread in my day. Actually have had some in your company, unbeknownst to me that I was even ingesting chemicals, that can also be found in yoga mats. I feel cheated and lied to, and even though those commercials for their new fritos sandwich look so damn good, I'm not going to get one I don't want to eat anymore yoga mats if I can help it!
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