Citi Bike - The Latest NYC Surveillance

By John Powers

The latest in NYC surveillance is revealed

It comes as no surprise that Citi Bike is watching you and everything around your bike via hidden spy cameras.

After narrowly avoiding being hit by a taxi cab the bike I was riding fell and the "Citi Bike" facade on the front shattered. Underneath were two tiny video cameras. One camera appears to point up at the rider while the second faces outward and grabs continuous video of everything the bike passes. The cameras are very small and appear to be made by Sony (see image). They are similar in appearance to those used on hidden camera TV shows, but this is the first time that live streaming motion video surveillance has been used in a major metropolitan city. This extensive program is another way that New York City is keeping track of its residents and events.

This mini hidden surveillance camera has a point of view angle of every corner of Manhattan at nearly any time of day. When reached for comment, Mayor Michael Bloomberg was quoted as saying, "You wait, in five years the technology is getting better. There will be cameras everyplace whether you like it or not." Mayor Bloomberg has come under fire in recent years for being the driving force behind the ban of cigarettes in public spaces, the attempted soda ban, and the controversial drone program currently being implemented in New York City by the NYPD. 

A look at Citi Bike features, including "Spy Cameras"

Citizens are told not to worry about these cameras. Their purpose is not to spy on people or to make petty arrests for marijuana usage. New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly released this statement on the Citi Bike surveillance cameras:

"They (the cameras) will not hurt you or get you in any trouble of any kind. The only people who should worry are the ones on the corner dealing drugs and committing crimes. The vigilance of New York City is unmatched and the technology that it takes to bring criminals to justice has just caught up."

Regardless of intent, people have a right to know that these cameras exist and are being used to capture everything the bike passes and record images of every person who sits on a Citi Bike. With this in mind, I have decided to go back to my old Trek bike. It might get stolen, but at least I'm the only one who rides it.

- John Powers



© 2013 - All rights reserved

Apple Behind Samsung Galaxy to Avoid Monopoly

According to a recent leak, Apple is financing and marketing the Samsung Galaxy to avoid having a complete monopoly on the smart phone industry. Upon it's release, the iPhone 5 was nearly impossible to get. If you had not pre-ordered months in advance there was no way to get one within 3 months of its release. Samsung was giving the Galaxy 4 away for free without a contract. The Galaxy boasts better features and a larger screen, but the iPhone is more stable and efficient.

The differences are subtle but one thing is certain... nobody really wants a Galaxy. Left to the open market the iPhone would be the only smartphone available. It is clearly the best product ever invented and there is no better way to play Angry Birds. The lack of competition would bring scrutiny upon the parent company and draw unnecessary questions about price and procedure (see: suicide safety nets). Apple is aware of this and has decided to fund advertising campaigns and supplemental price reductions for their struggling competitor.

Let's face it... the Galaxy doesn't even look as cool. It's like... blue or something. The iPhone is black and slate. Slate isn't even a real color. That's about as cool as it gets. The Galaxy has a bigger screen, but it's sloppy design is bulky and round. The iPhone design is sharp and slim and straight. Which would you rather be... bulky and round or slim and straight?

If you needed any more evidence that this report is based on fact... google search "apple." The only thing that comes up is iPhone, iPad, iPod, and Mac products. In contrast when you google search "galaxy," you get pictures of the cosmos, the stars and sky... and a small option up top that says 'did you mean the phone?' It begs the question, "which company really owns the world?"

The forbidden fruit has won.
Apple is no longer something we eat, but something that eats us.

John Powers
Contributing Reporter

© 2013 - All rights reserved

Weiner: A Comic's Wet Dream

What could be better than a guy named Weiner running for Mayor of New York City? How about a sexual texter who takes selfie pics

at the gym or pictures of his bulging jockeysand then sends them to young girls on the Internet?!

It's amazing. 
"Carlos Danger" just can't stop himself from sending 
Weiner pics to women half his age. 

The hotdog, Oscar Mayor Weiner jokes write themselves.

I'm sure you'll also hear plenty of innuendo... 

This guy Weiner is a real dick! 

Weiner has had a long, hard life.
Nobody knows how to finish a job like Weiner.
Weiner is in and out of meetings and back in again.

I'll bet he's got the balls to handle New York City. 
Mayor Weiner will come at issues with force.

Weiner never steps till he's about to spew.
 It's clear that Anthony is the cock of the walk.

 Weiner works harder than any other politician.

If you want something done right, get a Weiner.

Weiner will take NYC from behind and thrust it into center.

...stuff like that.

In all honestly there's no way
that he could possibly do worse than Bloomberg.
As long as he doesn't tell people what to drink,
including babies and breast milk,
then I think he'll be ok.   

Turn the TV off

It's easy to talk about Glee, Louie, Big Bang Theory, the New York Yankees, Dancing with the Stars, The Housewives of (insert city here), Celebrity Apprentice, Family Guy, Game of Thrones, and American Idol. I like them too... but those are big league programs. Major television networks decided that enough people will watch those and make them lots of money in advertising revenue. There's a reason Disney still exists. Mickey Mouse is losing more than he's earning these days but he bought ESPN, Pixar, and ABC. 

Some suit in an office that overlooks the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree decides what millions of people will watch each season. It's not about entertainment. It's not about making your life better. It's not about spreading positivity. It's not about making the world a better place. It's about money. It's about that guy buying a new Jaguar and sending his kids to an expensive private school. It's about the parent company getting enough ad sales revenue. It's a distraction. It's about keeping your eyes on your TV instead of your family. It's about looking into a black screen instead of looking around you, or inside yourself. We live in a culture that is decided for us. We feel involved when we vote someone off a show but every 100,000 text messages is a million dollars for the phone company. 

Art is a choice. 

Choose to support local art. 

Day 10 - Where is My Mind?

Ha.
Dumb-ass.
You thought Day 3 was hard.
... just wait. It gets much worse than that.

Day 10 is like being subject to water-boarding. It's constant torture. What's the weather like today? What are you doing tonight? Feel like some karaoke? What are you doing for dinner? Do you like my new tie? I DON'T FUCKING GIVE A SHIT! Give me nicotine! Shoot it into my veins. Give me a few sheets of used toilet paper... I'll roll it up, light it on fire and try to smoke it.

I woke up coughing today. It was not just a tickle in my throat and it was not just some phlegm. This morning I coughed up at least a dozen bronchioles. The anti-smoking pictures were right. They were dry and brown. That's what my lungs probably look like. I didn't give a damn because I never had to see them. Now I do. It's disgusting. It wouldn't stop. The more I hocked the more I needed to hock. There came a point when my throat was too ripped up to hock anymore. That's ok. I'm sure there will be more later.

I've been carrying nicotine gum for 3 days in my right cargo pocket. That's right, I have worn the same cargo shorts for three days. I don't give a shit. Be happy I'm wearing clothing at all. My buddy Ryan gave me this gum the last time I tried to quit. Seriously tried. Not that bullshit that you just go a day or two to see if you can. I mean really trying. Like right now. I haven't smoked anything in 10 days. I'm afraid to have a piece of the gum. It's there. I know it's there, but every time I think of having a piece I know it will lead to a pack. Once the sweet chemicals permeate my brain again I'll have no choice. I'll want more and more of the nicotine again. I'll say, "nah, I'm just chewing gum," but then I'll bum a butt. I'll saddle up to a smoker and lay on the charm.

I always hated people who bummed smokes. If you want one... go buy one. Don't offer me a dollar. I don't want money. I want tobaki! I want the leaves and the paper. There's 20 in the pack. If it were a Twix it would be 20 for me, none for you! I thought these bum-people were non-smokers who just want one every once in a while. The ones who only smoke when they drink and only need one or two. Now I realize some of these bums were probably where I am now. They were hunched-over junkies fiending for their fix. They were probably 10 days into quitting and just needed one. They should sell loosies in bodegas again. I'd buy one right now.

...but then I'd be a smoker again. The past 10 days would be for naught. I'd probably smoke a whole pack in one afternoon. Forget that, I'd probably smoke a whole pack in 5 minutes. There's a dam in my mind and it's blocking 500 million gallons of water. If this dam is broken, I'm not gonna just have a few. My self-imposed restrictions are suddenly lifted, I'd over-indulge like it was my last day on earth. I'd be like that Guinness record-holder for most cigarettes smoked simultaneously. I'd pack 100 cigarettes in my mouth at the same time and light them all up at once.

I thought it would get better. The longer I went the easier it would be. It's not getting better. If Day 3 was purgatory then Day 10 is hell. There is fire all around me but no smoke. Today I don't give a shit about being healthy. All of the reasons I decided to quit are ridiculous. This was a stupid idea. I don't really want to quit. I was just saying that. I want to buy a pack. I want to be full of chemicals. I want to poison myself slowly.

... because I want the headaches to go away. I want to sleep at night again. I want to go to bed and sleep for 7 hours without tossing and turning and smashing my head against a brick wall until my forehead splits open and my brains slosh out bleeding on the floor. I want it to be Day 100. I want it to be Day 1,000. Day 10 is terrible.

I know the pain is necessary. The pain is good. The pain is cleansing. I realize the hacking and headaches and nausea and lack of sleep is my body repairing itself and that's great. I'm in detox mode. Years of damage are slowly being reversed. I'm getting healthy and it feels like shit. Maybe that's why I smoked to begin with. I used to joke that I'm "suicidal, just not that serious about it." Taking care of oneself is hard. It's easier to let it go. Waste it, contaminate it. Destroy it.

Today I have a decision to make. I have to decide to not have one. I have to decide it every second. Now? No. Now? No. How about now? No. Just one. No. Just one drag. No. Get some weed? No. Go bum a smoke. No. Go outside and wait for someone to come out for a smoke break and then inhale their second-hand smoke. Ok, fine.

People are congratulating me. Friends are telling me what a great job I'm doing. Fuck you. I'm not doing a great job. If I were doing so well it wouldn't hurt so much. If I were doing well I wouldn't want one at all. I'm barely getting by. I'm a shell of myself and its taking all of my willpower not to punch you. Unless you have successfully quit... leave me alone. Unless you can say, "yeah, I've done it. It's hard but stick with it," don't say anything. Your banal accolades are a waste. Even people who have quit piss me off. They're done. They forgot what this feels like. They say, "you can do it." How do you know that? I haven't done shit yet. Day 10 is not "done." I have not quit. I deserve no congratulations. There's a very strong chance I'll be a smoker again tomorrow. What will you say then? "You really fucked up." No, you won't give a damn. Just like you don't give a damn about the personal hell I'm currently living in. I'm not saying you don't care if I quit. My friends and family want me to be healthy. That's great. They want me to quit, but the non-chalant "you're doing great," is a sham. I'm not doing great. Thanks for your thoughts but I'm really struggling over here.

My head hurts. It's like someone else has the reigns. I have no control over my thoughts. They always turn back to the one thing I can't do. It's a pounding. It's like someone is inside my cranium kneading my brains like pizza dough. It's like 12 people are playing volleyball with my head; sometimes it's just floating in the air but then suddenly people are smashing it down really hard. It's like my brain is being taken out to sea, held under water and drowning.

I am John's not-so-subtle sense of disconnect.

It is supposed to get better soon. The cravings are supposed to space out soon. I'm supposed to be used to not smoking soon... but when will soon be now? Not soon enough. Now is hard. Now is painful and throbbing. Now feels like someone is sticking needles in my brain. Now is constantly wanting to throw it all away and take the easy way out. Now I'm gonna have some sunflower seeds and smile even though I feel like kicking someone in the face. Now I'm gonna walk home and take some Advil so the anvil on my head won't feel so heavy.

Now I'm gonna hope the next few days go quickly. Now I'm gonna try to keep my stress levels low and constantly stop myself from doing what I'd really like to do. Now I'm gonna murder hundreds of people in Grand Theft Auto so I don't actually murder anyone in real life. That's who kills people. Assholes like me trying to go against what the body and brain are asking for. We can't handle it and we snap. Now I'm gonna try to cool down. Now I'm gonna try to distract myself. Now I'm gonna breathe deeply because this "air" shit just isn't doing it for me.

I'm gonna try to "be strong." I'm gonna try to "stick with it." I'm gonna ignore my body. I'm gonna tell my brain it's wrong. I'm gonna eat seeds. I'm gonna drink venti java chip frappachinos. I'm gonna eat cookies. I'm gonna chew gum.

The only thing I can't do is smoke.
... but that's all I want. Dammit.

John Powers
http://www.johnjpowers.com


© 2013 - All rights reserved