My friend Kendra posted a blog about
a friend of hers that finds and loses a man
in a period of 48 hours of a weekend.
It upsets me that the lady-folk
have certain expectations
and don't tell us
what they
are.
This is how I handle the situation:
...every time I meet a girl I like,
I call her immediately after we part from each other,
just to make sure she get's home alright.
Then I poke her on Facebook when I get to my place.
A simple smile ": )" text right before I go to sleep
let's her know I'm dreaming of her and only her...
The next day I cook breakfast and wait outside her apartment.
She's a vegetarian, so I use tofu bacon and soy milk.
I found out on her blog that she usually wakes up
around 8am, and goes for a jog around the park.
My running shorts are tight, but it's all worth it...
After she says, "what the hell are you doing here?"
I decide to eat breakfast alone.
She's not a morning person.
The rest of the day I think of the way her hair looks
right after she gets out of the shower, before she
blow-dries it and puts on jeans and a t-shirt to walk
her adorable little Chihuahua-doodle, Mr. Fluffypants.
I call her once an hour and leave voicemails,
just to let her know that I am thinking of her.
She texts me, "i have a bf"
but I know she doesn't...
She's just playing it cool.
That night I see that her friend Kristen
posted on her Facebook wall that they're
going to a bar downtown. How subtle.
She hasn't called back or responded to my
multiple texts, but I know she wants me to
show up at the bar that she's going to...
I hang in the back and watch her and her friends
hit on guys for a few hours, in an obvious attempt
to make me jealous, but it doesn't work,
I know that she's thinking only of me.
Finally I walk up behind her while she gets a drink,
and whisper in her ear, "hello, my love"...
She turns around and lets out a scream (of excitement!),
then says, "what the hell are you doing here?"
How cute, pretending to be surprised...
I hand her the portrait of us in the nude
that I stayed up the whole night before painting.
She likes it so much that she's speechless.
She goes back to the table with her friends,
and I hail a cab... another great night!
Damn, I'm smooth.
: )
I call her immediately after we part from each other,
just to make sure she get's home alright.
Then I poke her on Facebook when I get to my place.
A simple smile ": )" text right before I go to sleep
let's her know I'm dreaming of her and only her...
The next day I cook breakfast and wait outside her apartment.
She's a vegetarian, so I use tofu bacon and soy milk.
I found out on her blog that she usually wakes up
around 8am, and goes for a jog around the park.
My running shorts are tight, but it's all worth it...
After she says, "what the hell are you doing here?"
I decide to eat breakfast alone.
She's not a morning person.
The rest of the day I think of the way her hair looks
right after she gets out of the shower, before she
blow-dries it and puts on jeans and a t-shirt to walk
her adorable little Chihuahua-doodle, Mr. Fluffypants.
I call her once an hour and leave voicemails,
just to let her know that I am thinking of her.
She texts me, "i have a bf"
but I know she doesn't...
She's just playing it cool.
That night I see that her friend Kristen
posted on her Facebook wall that they're
going to a bar downtown. How subtle.
She hasn't called back or responded to my
multiple texts, but I know she wants me to
show up at the bar that she's going to...
I hang in the back and watch her and her friends
hit on guys for a few hours, in an obvious attempt
to make me jealous, but it doesn't work,
I know that she's thinking only of me.
Finally I walk up behind her while she gets a drink,
and whisper in her ear, "hello, my love"...
She turns around and lets out a scream (of excitement!),
then says, "what the hell are you doing here?"
How cute, pretending to be surprised...
I hand her the portrait of us in the nude
that I stayed up the whole night before painting.
She likes it so much that she's speechless.
She goes back to the table with her friends,
and I hail a cab... another great night!
Damn, I'm smooth.
: )
... this is where your comments go.
ReplyDeleteum....this doesn't actually work, does it?
ReplyDelete-Jill K.
You should know, Jill.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I won your heart so many years ago.
(actually, I don't think I texted back then!)