Thursday, August 23, 2012

#NobodyCares


My latest hashtag... #NobodyCares
 
that your kid is an honor roll student.
how good those jeans make your ass look.
about anything but themselves.
Thanks for catching the irony, ... but about intellectual humor!
Some chic just posted that.. and I was lmao then I came to twitter just as u posted that.. hahahaha
Retweeted by
about the Republican National Convention.
congratulations on wasting so many hours of your life finishing the whole Grand Theft Auto IV story... but
if you have medical insurance.
how many people see these on Facebook because my accounts are linked.
what magazine you contribute to.
LoL, nobody cares about & Monkey Condoms
Retweeted by
which McDonalds you're Mayor of.
where you checked in on Foursquare.
oh, lord I feel like I'm dyin'...
how many easy payments it takes to buy your product.
which astrological sign you are.
what 9 out of 10 doctors recommend.
where you're performing this weekend.
if you have the moves like Jagger.
about Flo Rida's whistle, baby.
that I took over their news feed.
about the upcoming election.
about your religious beliefs.
what sport you were captain of in high school.
what your batting average is.
how much you can bench press.
what you do with your genitals.
by August do you mean ever?
Retweeted by
Or the rest of the 11 months! ;-)
Retweeted by
The only time is when what u drive is sweeter..lol
Retweeted by
about the Jets... they're going to lose.
that you're drowning.
Retweeted by
about your fantasy team.
Retweeted by
when your band is playing next.
what your stance on abortion is.
about your kids.
what your SAT score was.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

#ImSingle


Ok... so I started a trend
today on the Twitter.
Here is a list of:
The ones that I posted.
Ones that others posted.

 
because most female comedians are ugly. 

because is a lesbian.

because I don't put out on the first date.

because at some point this month she is gonna have PMS ?

because people think I smoke

because my hashtag isn't trending yet. 
 
because I can't get to come to The Power Hour comedy show this Saturday at ...6:30pm ET 
 
because nobody responded to my subway advertisement.
 
because chicks don't dig grunge rock.
 
because the are putting an album out and I wanna hook up at their release party... 
 
because had to go and get Hepatitis...
 
because chivalry is dead. 
 
because my Grandma says I shouldn't buy a cow when the milk is free. 
 
because you can't just wear a T-Shirt to tell women how good you are at cunnalingus. 
 
because I can't find 's cousin on Match.com...
 
because I periodically dump my girlfriend just so we can have great make up sex 3 hours later when we get back together.
because is a dude.
 
... the 2nd bedroom in my apartment is an office/recording studio.
 
because there will never be room for a carseat in my convertible.
 
because lives too far away.
 
because eventually rufies wear off...
 
because I don't like sharing wine.
 
because I don't care for reality tv.
 
because I have never listened to an entire song.
 
 
Because started this Topic
 
because I like singing along with grunge rock on road trips.
 
because I prefer not to share popcorn at the movies.
 
because Maximum is just not big enough.
 
because it's not me... it's you.
 
... so I can fart anytime, anywhere. Really loud.
 
because has a boyfriend.
 
...so I can go bowling and not have to wait for anyone before it's my turn again.
 
because hasn't let me take her out in 10 years.
 
...so the only disease I can catch is narcissism.
 
because lives in Brooklyn.
 
because my hand looked more appealing than every girl at that bar last night.
 
because won't give me a chance. 
 
because people read my blog on
  
because I don't like having feminine hygiene products in my medicine cabinet.
 
because it's impossible for any "real" woman to live up to my expectations.
 
so I can makeout with anyone anytime and nobody cares.
 
...so I can wear the same boxers all week and nobody cares.


That is all for now.
Thanks for reading.

 
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